Do you ever get "gut feelings"?
Do you usually listen to it?
Lately I have come to realize I get a LOT of gut feelings. I have also come to know that by the time I realize it, it's too late.
Or rather, by the time I ADMIT I needed to listen to my gut feeling, it's too late.
Most of the stuff is simple stuff, but it ends up getting complicated by the fact that I ignored the gut feeling. For example, I had a gut feeling not to go to the store at noon, because it was too close to Aaron's nap time and he might have a big tantrum in the store because he's tired.
I ignored the feeling. The knowledge.
Went to the store anyway.....and paid the consequences.
I didn't listen to my gut feeling.
Today I had a STRONG gut feeling.
There was a homeschooling meeting I wanted to attend. The kids wanted to go bike riding at Frame Park. I couldn't do both.
Usually I do not ask Nathan to take the kids in such rides, mostly because I know he has had a very long, physically demanding day, and I know he just wants to kick his heels up and give his tired feet a break.
But today I wanted to please the kids.......and myself, by going to that meeting.
I asked Nathan if he could walk the trail at Frame park so the kids could ride their bikes; meanwhile I would be at the meeting, right there at Waukesha State Bank, and we would meet an hour later by the fountain an maybe go for ice cream.
Easy enough. Sweet.
Except for the nagging feeling in my gut.
The typical back and forth between me and my other self -otherwise known as gut feeling- went on for awhile, but I kept quieting it telling myself I needed to relinquish so much control over the kids; I still felt I needed to go for a walk with them; but I told myself going to the meeting was more important; I still was concerned with Nathan having all the kids by himself, in their bikes, at the park, without a cell phone.....oh c'mon lady....you're driving yourself crazy for no reason.......but I still kept feeling that it would be better if we all went to the meeting and then go for the walk.......but I told myself to shut up and go to the meeting and let everything else go....besides, sitting in a room with a bunch of homeschoolers without having to worry about the kids would be a very nice break for me................but I was still worrying.
Even as they walked away, I watched and prayed that everything would be ok.
I sat down at the meeting, trying to look all non-challant and comfortable; the lady next to me introduced herself; I introduced myself and we started to ask each other about our kids and our experience with homeschooling. Not a minute into the conversation my phone rang. I did not recognized the number so I ignored it.....and silenced it.
My guy feeling started screaming at me.
I started screaming back at it..................would you PLEASE shut up and leave me alone!!!!!!
Ten minutes later I cave in and checked my phone. Another missed called from the same number. No message.
"If it was Nathan, and if that was an emergency, he would have left a message....I'm sure of that" I told myself. "Now concentrate and pay attention to these nice homeschooling ladies...."
Ten minutes later I heard the sound of a door opening and closing....and in walks Aaron, followed closely by Danny.....followed by a pale Nathan and a bloody and beat up little Nate!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My heart sunk.........what happened?!?!?!?!?
I stood up, picked up my stuff and went to my family. Little Nate had a nasty fall from his bike minutes after they got to the park; he had a huge bloody bump in his forehead, a scratched up nose and upper lip.......and he lost one tooth on the spot, had one barely hanging by a thread and another one in pretty bad shape.
And my sweetest hubby had to deal with all of that all alone. The phone call I got was from a lady that offer him the use of her cell phone to call someone.....and I didn't answer it. He had to deal with minutes of incessant nose bleeding, gums bleeding, a screaming boy, three bikes all over the place, and two extra kids wondering around......and a long walk back to the car carrying a hurting boy in one arm, pushing the bike with his other arm, and coaching two boys riding their bikes across a busy street and a very busy parking lot.......all while my gut feeling was beating me up.
When would I learn not to question my instincts? When would I learn that the little loud voice that I hear sometimes really knows what it's talking about? When would I finally surrender?
I don't know, but today's lesson is a big step closer.
I don't think that such accident wouldn't happened if I was there, but I have no doubt that what my gut feeling was trying to tell me is that my family needed me; I needed to be there, next to my husband, because a team effort was needed to handle the situation.
But I wouldn't listen.
Perhaps next time, when it is really imperative that I listen, instead of a gut feeling I should get a b**ch-slap............I bet you that would really get my attention!!!
This are the pics of the incident....and the fun the boys where having with it. They are nasty if you ask me.......but I wanted to share nonetheless.
My sweet boy.......my sweet brave little boy.